Maybe you're the problem

Yes you, the one who’s reading this, maybe you’re the problem. Maybe you’re the reason why your life is upside down.

At the risk of sounding harsh, let me explain why right away. You see we humans are built in such a way, that we always only fend for ourselves. We never automatically look out for others, we focus on keeping ourselves safe. Ourselves happy. Ourselves, ourselves and ourselves. We make everything about ourselves. We find it so hard to even open our eyes to another’s feelings.

Thus, when we meet someone and have a problem with them, our immediate solution is to cut them out of their lives and paint them as the ultimate villain in the story, and ourselves like the righteous hero and we start believing that it is the truth. We cannot even fathom the slightest possiblity, that maybe a part of the reason why things go wrong could be our fault too. This causes serious repercussions and makes us lose bonds that may have meant to last forever.

Let me give you a personal input. I lost a bond with someone who I absolutely cherished and loved. I never in my wildest dreams imagined losing her after 11 beautiful years. She was my family, my sister, and my soulmate in the form of a friend. I constantly look for her in the people I meet, in desperate attempts to get some part of her back. But I never will, as nobody in this universe can hold a candle to her. Our bond was something lovely, that others around us just couldn't understand. This very bond, I tore it apart and I burnt it to ashes. Sure enough, there were faults on her side too. But the whole time, I was so delusional to the point where I didn’t even care to imagine a scenario where I was wrong. I was so blind in my sorrow, I didn’t realise I was passing it on to those around me. 

Ending on a lighter note, I invite my readers, please look within yourselves. Search your very being. Get to know yourself. Don’t deem people as "toxic", deem yourself first. Ask yourself, who are you? What type of a person are you? Judge yourself first. Once you know yourself, speak to those around you with the awareness of you are. Instead of calling someone "unfriendly", maybe think of why they may be behaving like that towards you. Is it something you said? 

"Why do you see the speck in your neighbour's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' while the log is in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3-5